Dear Time Tourist Customers,
We regret to inform you but our company is undergoing a U.S.E. investigation, meaning our services will no longer be offered to you until the investigation is complete.
According to the U.S.E., several key sources within our company have revealed to them that there was unlawful and illicit time traveling within our organization. In short, this unmonitored time travel is theorized to be the reason for the recent “Opps” Virus outbreak.
We here at Time Tourist disagree with these allegations, but we have to comply with U.S.E. officials while they investigate our records.
We want to assure all of you who have deposited money into your Time Tourist accounts -- it is be safe and can be returned to you if requested. We hope to be back in business as soon as possible and hope you will be there with us too when we power up our time gates, once again.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Opps Virus!
Hello time tourists,
As you have probably heard by now, there has been an outbreak of the elusive “Opps” virus. For more information regarding the virus visit – here.
Unfortunately, because of this outbreak, we've had to suspend several of our upcoming tours due to the nature of this virus.
We are sending mass emails to all our previous and current clientèle, warning them of this virus, and warning them of the symptoms. If you, or anyone you know feel a “sudden lack of coordination and balance, poor judgment, difficulty following directions, and mispronouncing words or phrases,” please report to a health official IMMEDIATELY!
Those of you who have traveled within the last couple of weeks are more likely to be infected than those who haven't, so checking with your doctor for precaution is highly advisable.
We offer our sincerest apologizes for any inconvenience in scheduling and will contact those who are affected by our tour delays. We'll be back on schedule in no time!
As you have probably heard by now, there has been an outbreak of the elusive “Opps” virus. For more information regarding the virus visit – here.
Unfortunately, because of this outbreak, we've had to suspend several of our upcoming tours due to the nature of this virus.
We are sending mass emails to all our previous and current clientèle, warning them of this virus, and warning them of the symptoms. If you, or anyone you know feel a “sudden lack of coordination and balance, poor judgment, difficulty following directions, and mispronouncing words or phrases,” please report to a health official IMMEDIATELY!
Those of you who have traveled within the last couple of weeks are more likely to be infected than those who haven't, so checking with your doctor for precaution is highly advisable.
We offer our sincerest apologizes for any inconvenience in scheduling and will contact those who are affected by our tour delays. We'll be back on schedule in no time!
For Education
Hello time tourists!
Once again we're delighted to bring you another important historic adventure! Coming up this next Monday, like every year, is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. And also like every year, we like to honor his legacy by going back in time to 1963 and offer you a chance to hear his famous “I Have a Dream” speech.
This is an important moment in civil rights history and should be of interest to everyone. We highly recommend this trip as a school field trip, as nothing can communicate the power of the speech as much as experiencing it. We know that kid's love this time travel trip, and are enthusiastic to discuss and learn about the civil rights struggle after seeing Dr. King speak.
Please contact us for more information, and reserve your spot on the tour!
Once again we're delighted to bring you another important historic adventure! Coming up this next Monday, like every year, is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. And also like every year, we like to honor his legacy by going back in time to 1963 and offer you a chance to hear his famous “I Have a Dream” speech.
This is an important moment in civil rights history and should be of interest to everyone. We highly recommend this trip as a school field trip, as nothing can communicate the power of the speech as much as experiencing it. We know that kid's love this time travel trip, and are enthusiastic to discuss and learn about the civil rights struggle after seeing Dr. King speak.
Please contact us for more information, and reserve your spot on the tour!
A Word...
From time to time we like to share with our audience, customer reviews. We like to endorse equality, so we show both sides of the spectrum – bad and good reviews. Today's review is from an elated customer, Jane, who enjoyed her tour of the Shakespeare premiere of Romeo and Juliet. Thank you Jane!
Dear Time Tourists,
I'm writing to you from the year 2056, an amazing time for time tourism. I hope that customers across all spectrum's of time traveling can have an awesome experience like the one I enjoyed. As soon as I arrived at the designated time gate, I was greeted by a personal time specialist. This specialist was extremely kind, patient, and well-mannered. He gave me a short lecture on the customs, traditions, idiosyncrasies, etc. of the era, and it was the most helpful thing one could ever receive when time traveling. I have been with other services before, and they do NOT do this! It's a shame!
I got to my destination, a Shakespeare play (Romeo and Juliet) and was amazed at the performance. It was my first time seeing it, and seeing the original premiere has changed my view on life completely! After the performance I mingled, and that was just as fun and eye opening, albeit I was a little nervous at first.
Needless to say the performance and atmosphere was amazing, and the Time Tourist service was on par. The same personal assistant was on-call at any time. Food, drinks, whatever, always ready. The time travel is fast, painless, and I had no drowsiness, it must be their time gates -- I recommend this service to anybody!
Thank You,
Jane
Dear Time Tourists,
I'm writing to you from the year 2056, an amazing time for time tourism. I hope that customers across all spectrum's of time traveling can have an awesome experience like the one I enjoyed. As soon as I arrived at the designated time gate, I was greeted by a personal time specialist. This specialist was extremely kind, patient, and well-mannered. He gave me a short lecture on the customs, traditions, idiosyncrasies, etc. of the era, and it was the most helpful thing one could ever receive when time traveling. I have been with other services before, and they do NOT do this! It's a shame!
I got to my destination, a Shakespeare play (Romeo and Juliet) and was amazed at the performance. It was my first time seeing it, and seeing the original premiere has changed my view on life completely! After the performance I mingled, and that was just as fun and eye opening, albeit I was a little nervous at first.
Needless to say the performance and atmosphere was amazing, and the Time Tourist service was on par. The same personal assistant was on-call at any time. Food, drinks, whatever, always ready. The time travel is fast, painless, and I had no drowsiness, it must be their time gates -- I recommend this service to anybody!
Thank You,
Jane
U.S.E. Ethics
Beloved Customers,
As many of you know, some low-level pro-U.S.E. sources would have the public believe that our tours go against U.S.E. ethics. We want to publicly denounce any implied affiliation with the A.G.N. Our organization supports the preservation of cultural knowledge, but primarily from a historians perspective.
We are angered that any sort of slander is permitted, and we will seek retribution. Our tours receive rave reviews and there are always eager people ready to go. We hope that any sort of U.S.E. propaganda does not deter you from joining us on your next time tour, and we hope to see you at the time gate!
As many of you know, some low-level pro-U.S.E. sources would have the public believe that our tours go against U.S.E. ethics. We want to publicly denounce any implied affiliation with the A.G.N. Our organization supports the preservation of cultural knowledge, but primarily from a historians perspective.
We are angered that any sort of slander is permitted, and we will seek retribution. Our tours receive rave reviews and there are always eager people ready to go. We hope that any sort of U.S.E. propaganda does not deter you from joining us on your next time tour, and we hope to see you at the time gate!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Our Sincerest Apologizes
For those on our last tour, the tour of a Picasso exhibition, we apologize for the unfortunate incident that occurred. Our security system is extremely secure, but every so often there are very smart individuals who are able to bypass and out think our system.
We've caught the individuals involved in the elaborate heist, and we've traced their methods. It was, as usual, an inside job. The criminals are being handled by the Time Police, and will be severely punished for their acts.
No one was hurt, but the trip was cut short. We want to apologize once again for the huge inconvenience, and to everyone on the trip we promise a full refund PLUS a free trip on us.
We've caught the individuals involved in the elaborate heist, and we've traced their methods. It was, as usual, an inside job. The criminals are being handled by the Time Police, and will be severely punished for their acts.
No one was hurt, but the trip was cut short. We want to apologize once again for the huge inconvenience, and to everyone on the trip we promise a full refund PLUS a free trip on us.
A Work in Progress
At Time Tourists we appreciate fine art. Whether it's a visual or musical en devour, we love it all. That is why our latest, “Long Term Tour” will focus on the creative process of Beethoven.
For those of you unfamiliar with our “Long Term Tour,” it is time tour that spans anywhere from 1-4 years. We take only 3-5 people and one specialized historian who is studying the subject matter and essentially “live” in the time period. We offer these opportunities every once in awhile, maybe two times a year, and thus have many people interested. If you don't make it this time, sign up to be on our waiting list.
As stated, the team will travel back in time to the year 1818, around the time when Beethoven began his work on his final piece, and stay for 5 years. The work in study is his Ninth Symphony, a masterpiece. This trip is invaluable to anybody interested in Beethoven's creative process, and one will have unlimited access into his life.
For this trip, one must be prepared to sacrifice modern day standards and be ready to adapt to the time period's culture and lifestyle. Those who are chosen are required to attend a short training program that will help acquaint them with the relevant time period.
The application process is lengthy for these trips, and you must email us if you're interested and we'll send you the form upon approval.
For those of you unfamiliar with our “Long Term Tour,” it is time tour that spans anywhere from 1-4 years. We take only 3-5 people and one specialized historian who is studying the subject matter and essentially “live” in the time period. We offer these opportunities every once in awhile, maybe two times a year, and thus have many people interested. If you don't make it this time, sign up to be on our waiting list.
As stated, the team will travel back in time to the year 1818, around the time when Beethoven began his work on his final piece, and stay for 5 years. The work in study is his Ninth Symphony, a masterpiece. This trip is invaluable to anybody interested in Beethoven's creative process, and one will have unlimited access into his life.
For this trip, one must be prepared to sacrifice modern day standards and be ready to adapt to the time period's culture and lifestyle. Those who are chosen are required to attend a short training program that will help acquaint them with the relevant time period.
The application process is lengthy for these trips, and you must email us if you're interested and we'll send you the form upon approval.
A Quick Notice About Lost Valuables
Hello time tourists!
We want to take this moment to notify all our customer about baggage. If you have lost any personal items while on one of our tours, our customer service department is here to help. We have bureaus in all the time periods that we travel too, and at these bureaus we have highly specialized service members dedicated to retrieving lost valuables.
Please let us know if you have any problems in this regard, and we'll help you as soon as we can, the best we can. We want to let everyone know that it takes about 3-4 weeks to process your request and retrieve your items, that is because our specialists are very precise at what they do, and finding lost items is a tedious process. We apologize for the delay and know you want your things as soon as possible. Thank you for your understanding, and see you at the time gate!
We want to take this moment to notify all our customer about baggage. If you have lost any personal items while on one of our tours, our customer service department is here to help. We have bureaus in all the time periods that we travel too, and at these bureaus we have highly specialized service members dedicated to retrieving lost valuables.
Please let us know if you have any problems in this regard, and we'll help you as soon as we can, the best we can. We want to let everyone know that it takes about 3-4 weeks to process your request and retrieve your items, that is because our specialists are very precise at what they do, and finding lost items is a tedious process. We apologize for the delay and know you want your things as soon as possible. Thank you for your understanding, and see you at the time gate!
It's a Dinosaur!
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to see a dinosaur? Have you ever wondered what earth was like without any human presence? If you answered, yes, to either of those questions, our next tour is the one for you. We at Time Tourist know that all humans have pondered on the thought of prehistoric times, and we know that everyone wonders how amazing it would be to be able to see a dinosaur in person.
This magnificent tour will span several prehistoric periods, and will take about five days to complete. So pack your bags and bring your cameras, this is a tour you don't want to miss!
We want to assure you, that this tour is 100 percent safe, and is also an awesome educational opportunity. We will have prehistoric historians accompany us on the tour, providing valuable information about the eras. Kids are allowed, and families are encouraged. This is definitely a trip you don't want to miss!
This magnificent tour will span several prehistoric periods, and will take about five days to complete. So pack your bags and bring your cameras, this is a tour you don't want to miss!
We want to assure you, that this tour is 100 percent safe, and is also an awesome educational opportunity. We will have prehistoric historians accompany us on the tour, providing valuable information about the eras. Kids are allowed, and families are encouraged. This is definitely a trip you don't want to miss!
A War Torn History
Greetings fellow time tourists! We have another, exciting trip planned ahead – something REAL special! A group of time war historians is going on a marathon expedition spanning two weeks. This is longer than our normal, weekend tour and for good reason. We will be visiting historical battles (viewed out of harms way, we guarantee it) including: the D-Day Landing, the Battle of Gettysburg, the Battle of Granicus, and a surprise battle (Okay, we'll give you a hint, Sun Tzu).
This trip is not only special because of the amount of sights one will see, but because it is a historical expedition. This means that tourists will be allowed to interact with the historians; they will give mini-lectures, answer questions, and commentate on the fights.
For any historical war buff this is a MUST see. We warn those who are squeamish to consider passing this offer up, because there will be intense, graphic scenery. For this reason, no one under the age of 21 is allowed AT ALL, no exceptions. Also, everyone must be legally chipped with up-to-date visa information. This will be a monitored tour, the USE will know if you go. We want to stress again, there will be disturbing images and you take full responsibility for your decision to go on this tour.
This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, for anyone interested in knowing how wars are fought and won!
This trip is not only special because of the amount of sights one will see, but because it is a historical expedition. This means that tourists will be allowed to interact with the historians; they will give mini-lectures, answer questions, and commentate on the fights.
For any historical war buff this is a MUST see. We warn those who are squeamish to consider passing this offer up, because there will be intense, graphic scenery. For this reason, no one under the age of 21 is allowed AT ALL, no exceptions. Also, everyone must be legally chipped with up-to-date visa information. This will be a monitored tour, the USE will know if you go. We want to stress again, there will be disturbing images and you take full responsibility for your decision to go on this tour.
This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, for anyone interested in knowing how wars are fought and won!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Time Tourist: A Word to our Viewers...
We at Time Tourists support the knowledge and spread of past cultures and societies. Our aim is to educated customers with knowledge. Therefore, we would like to inform audiences that we will assign “temporary legal” chips to those who refuse to use USE chips when touring with us. We understand if you have opposition to the majority party and want to keep personal activity discreet. We respect your opinion.
These “temporary legal” chips are designed as “guest passes” for historians and scientists who need to chip specimens on a short notice. At Time Tourists, we are allowed access to them, as technically, we are historians.
With that in mind, we want to remind you that our next trip is on schedule. Time Tourists is traveling back to 1440, Florence, Italy. If you want to see the premiere of the controversial David statue by Donatello, please register now!
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